In Every Generation There Is A Chosen One

I want a Tuesday kind of love. The sort of thing that involves little dreaming and scheming; the sort of thing that comes paired with too-strong coffee and too-loud songbirds and the drone of the news at 6 a.m. or any time before the sky finds its identity, really. A Tuesday kind of love that isn’t indulgent, one that doesn’t stop the earth from spinning but maybe keeps us grounded in spite of all that uncontrollable movement.

I want to split the bill and pay the bills and not get lost in some unsustainable delusion where the rest of our lives become inconsequential. I want us to be human, I want to argue, I want to take too long in the shower. I want to hear about the horrific lines at the DMV, about a boss who doesn’t get it, about plans to pick up the laundry after work. I want stories of strangers on the bus, of a child who looked lost but turned out not to be, of chance encounters with high school classmates because these seemingly colorless instances are meaningful when filtered through the eyes of someone I care about. A Tuesday kind of love, breathing relevance into otherwise monotonous moments.

A Tuesday kind of love is this: commuting to work knowing that someone cares about what you’re going to have for lunch; understanding that you do not have to be your dynamic, charming, weekend self this time; this time you can butcher sentences and make bad jokes and trip over thin air and it won’t change anything. A Tuesday kind of love is when weekends and weekdays are one and the same, expanses of time where unpredictable, irreplaceable closeness exists, swells, bursts. Tuesday is directionless conversation about things that happened five hours or five years ago; it’s knowing where he keeps his receipts and when he has a doctor appointment; it’s ordering Chinese food or taking his parents out for dinner because they’re in town or forgetting to eat because you’re full of each other’s words and there’s just no room for anything else.

I don’t want to dream through our lives together, don’t want to sleep in, don’t want to put on my sunglasses and pretend that life’s a vacation. The fantasy is that I want to exist in reality; the fantasy is to be there for someone on a Sunday morning but also on a Tuesday night, when the haze and laze of the weekend has worn thin and seems far away as ever. I want a Tuesday kind of love.

- Stephanie Georgopulos

3. You’re going to lose touch with a lot of your friends. With some people, it will be expected but with others it will feel like a punch to the stomach. No friendship is truly safe in your twenties. You’re undergoing so many personal and professional changes that there’s bound to be some casualties along the way. Don’t worry though. You’ll end up with the ones that matter. If someone’s no longer in your life, it’s for a reason.

My facebook is a liar. It says I have 900+ ‘friends’ when in reality, I probably only keep in continuous contact with 50 of them. Not a lot but it just goes to show you how many people you lose touch with after high school and after college. I joined a co-ed fraternity when I was in college and made a massive amount of friends and acquaintances. How many do I really keep in touch with? Two. How many do I still see whenever I go visit Southern California? No more than 5. That’s 7/900+. Less than 1%. Crazy huh?

However, I do have a select few that I have kept in contact with since middle school. We may not have been the best of friends then, but we definitely are now.

I have made new friends due to the numerous basketball leagues I’m in. I have made great co-worker buddies through my job. And of course the random strangers you meet on the street. It’s amazing to think how many people you lose touch with. Mr O’Connell has it right though. There is a reason why some people aren’t in your life now. It may not be because you had arguments or didn’t get a long. Life probably just got in the way. Or you moved back home. Relocated to a different state for work. Whatever the reason, the people you have in your life now are the ones who matter. And the people who end up being in your life in the future, are the ones who should only matter.

2. The rumors are true: your metabolism does slow down as you get older! That means if you’re still eating whatever you want, there’s a good chance you’ll start to gain an awkward amount of weight. It won’t be too drastic but your clothes will start to hang differently on your body and you’ll feel an overall feeling of unattractiveness. Start to be conscious of what you eat and strive to live a healthier lifestyle if you want to get your teen body back. (Let’s be real though, that might not ever come back.)

Welcome to the story of my life. I’ve never been what you call ‘skinny.’ Even in high school when I played sports year round, including club basketball, I failed to somehow attain the figure that society deems perfection. I wish I can say that I’m above it all when in reality, I have the same mentality as I did in my teen years… at least in regards to this. One thing has changed though… I don’t care as much.

I entered college with pretty much the same body as I had in high school with the goal to not gain the freshman 15. I did well and continued to do well until my senior year when I ballooned and gained about 10lbs. I just didn’t care. I ate everything in sight and finished everything I ordered/made. When I felt full, I continued eating anyway. It became an addiction, really. Can’t help how much I love food. This, in turn, changed my everyday wear from jeans and a top to basketball shorts, t-shirt and a sweatshirt because I did feel horribly unattractive.

I’ve always had a slow metabolism. Always. Working out is the only way for me to at least keep a somewhat decent figure… or so I thought. I ran three half marathons and became a pescetarian (unrelated to wanting to lose weight/keep my figure) and I saw little to no results. But as luck would have it, I ended up signing up to play in 4 basketball leagues which in turn led me to be on an Asian traveling basketball team as well. Basketball… sport of the Gods.

I know the first three paragraphs doesn’t really correlate to what item #2 on Mr. O’Connel’s list but it’s the background to what I really want to say. Yes, your metabolism does slow down. Yes, clothes start fitting differently. And yes, the amount of weight gained will be awkward. However, I’ve learned that as long as you don’t overindulge and work out, whether it be walking for 30 minutes or running 10 miles a day, you’ll be happy and content with the body you have now. Very few of us have the ability to completely stay within the realms of our high school figure. I’m 5lbs away from being that weight but my form itself has changed. You can’t fret over that. Striving to live a healthier lifestyle is the main sentence you want to gain from all of this. Look… I know I’m not fat. I also know I’m not skinny. But I play basketball. Exercise, hike, spend my day outdoors and most of all… I have fun. I can eat like a fat cow and sometimes have two or three different types of desserts in one sitting. It’s really okay. Do I wish I had abs of steel? Of course. But why subjugate myself to eating like a rabbit when there are numerous flavors and wonderment to be had? The world of cuisine is fantastic. You just have to figure that out for yourself.

Eat Well. Live Happy.

To my very few followers: you all know about the post I put up yesterday about the 25 things you learn in your 20’s by Ryan O’ Connell. Even though I have just turned 25, I feel as if I’ve experienced, for the most part, 80% of his list. With that said, I’m posing a challenge for myself; for 25 days, I hope to write my experience(s) or my own point of view for each item the author has described.

Will I complete it? Will I have the discipline to write everyday for the next 25 days? Am I even willing to share the situations/circumstances/ideas I have experienced to the world? Who knows! I am, after all, still in my 20’s.

1. You can’t date a jerk and expect to turn them into a good person. Jerks are fully committed to being unpleasant. Those brief moments of tenderness they give you are designed to trip you up and give you false hope. It’s best to stay away altogether.

I don’t have much to say about the first item on his list. I have never dated a jerk… at least not yet; although I don’t ever plan on it. Maybe my exes have ended up being jerks after we’ve stopped dating but, with the times I remember we had spent together, I don’t believe they are.

Of course, I hope to never experience dating a jerk. I don’t think anyone wakes up in the morning fully expecting/wanting to date a class-A douchebag… unless you do, in which case I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into. Remember, ‘those brief moments of tenderness they give you are designed to trip you up and give you false hope’

EDIT:

How fast I forget… maybe its because I dont want to conjure up old memories but there was an ex that ended up being a jerk AFTER the break up. I dont want to go into details but how I was treated I do not wish on anyone. So yes, I actually have experienced what a jerk can possibly do to a girl but I will also say this, I will give my ex the benefit of the doubt and assume that treatment was done unintentionally. I hope. Otherwise, I can officially say that I have dated a jerk without even knowing. Sly dog.

1. You can’t date a jerk and expect to turn them into a good person. Jerks are fully committed to being unpleasant. Those brief moments of tenderness they give you are designed to trip you up and give you false hope. It’s best to stay away altogether.
2. The rumors are true: your metabolism does slow down as you get older! That means if you’re still eating whatever you want, there’s a good chance you’ll start to gain an awkward amount of weight. It won’t be too drastic but your clothes will start to hang differently on your body and you’ll feel an overall feeling of unattractiveness. Start to be conscious of what you eat and strive to live a healthier lifestyle if you want to get your teen body back. (Let’s be real though, that might not ever come back.)
3. You’re going to lose touch with a lot of your friends. With some people, it will be expected but with others it will feel like a punch to the stomach. No friendship is truly safe in your twenties. You’re undergoing so many personal and professional changes that there’s bound to be some casualties along the way. Don’t worry though. You’ll end up with the ones that matter. If someone’s no longer in your life, it’s for a reason.
4. You’ll be jealous of everyone who’s more successful than you. That’s okay. Just transfer that jealousy into something productive, like working really hard so you can one day eclipse them and make them feel jealous of YOU.
5. You’ll question every decision you make and never feel completely certain that you made the right choice. It’s pointless to wonder though. You’re here now so you might as well make it be the right decision.
6. You’re going to give your heart to a few people who don’t deserve it. Then, one day you’ll come to your senses and ask them to give it back.
7. You’ll see your parents get older. You’ll come home during Christmas break and see new lines developing on their faces. One day it’ll just hit you that your parents are old and going to die. There’s nothing you can do about it, besides treat them with kindness and visit as much as your budget permits.
8. You’ll have a boss who makes you feel like you’re nothing. It doesn’t have to be in a Devil Wears Prada way. The cruelty can be much more subtle. Don’t let them get to you though. They have no idea who the hell you really are and you’re probably going to have their job someday so…
9. Doing drugs is fun until it’s not, until it starts affecting your life in negative ways and leaves you feeling guilty and wrecked. If that happens, you should stop doing them.
10. You’re going to puke in public. It’s fine. No one cares. Just puke.
11. You’ll know how to make twenty dollars last an entire week because you spent almost all of your paycheck on groceries at Whole Foods and drunk cab rides. This lesson in frugality will serve you well.
12. You’re going to betray your convictions. You’re going to feel shame. You’re going to continue to put yourself in situations that aren’t good for you. And then, slowly but surely, it will become less frequent. It might not ever go away completely but it won’t be as bad. In the meantime, stop shame spiraling about it. It gets you nowhere.
13. Loving yourself is hard. Hating yourself is harder.
14. You’re going to hook up with someone who you would never touch in the daylight sober. Just don’t freak out too much about it. Consider it to be your good deed for the day.
15. You’re going to have people in your life who are toxic. They may say that they love you, they may say that they have your back, but they don’t. Get rid of them.
16. You’ll have moments with someone that are so intense, it’ll feel like you’ve been electrocuted back to life. You’ll hold on to these moments for a long time. They’ll give you hope when you’re going through the motions.
17. You’ll always care about your first love. That doesn’t make you crazy, it just makes you human. When relationships end, it’s not so cut and dry. You carry everyone you’ve ever loved into every relationship thereafter.
18. You’ll enter your twenties as a fashion disaster and (hopefully) leave them looking fantastic. If you don’t know how to put yourself together by then, I really don’t know what to tell you.
19. You’ll realize that the Internet can be a cruel son of a bitch but, you know, www.whatever.com.
20. So much of what you think matters doesn’t actually matter at all. It’s kind of rude. Like, thanks for making me believe in things that are ultimately so inconsequential, you jerk.
21.  You’ll treat someone terribly. Whether it to be a lover or your friend, there’ll be someone whose feelings you take for granted. We focus too much on whether or not someone is hurting us. The reality is that we might actually be the one who’s hurting someone.
22. Doing “grown-up things” doesn’t make you a grown up. Shopping for housewares, buying a plant, embracing domesticity — these things don’t create maturity. If you’re still a baby who hasn’t figured things out, you’ll remain a baby, no matter how many times you pay your rent on time.
23. Don’t force yourself into loving anyone. If it’s not working in the beginning, it’s probably not going to work ever.
24. You are so lucky to have everything that you have. Stop crying about an unreturned text message and get some perspective.
25. Don’t go too long without having sex. Ever.

bbygraffe:

I want to get to know you. I want to learn about your past and be there in your future. I want to know what makes you laugh and giggle as well as all the things that makes you sad. I want to be the shoulder you lean on when you’re upset and I want to be the reason for your dimpled smile. I want the discussions, the fights, the hugs && kisses. I just want to be yours but most importantly I want you to give me a chance to make you happy. I know I can. :D

“Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness.”

-Yousuf Karsh

(Source: tedmaximilian)